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giving up

5 years and finally the reality is hitting me hard. Things were difficult but I always wanted to stand against odds. But now I really want to stop and start anew. Thank for everything. I was happy once. In a way I learned a lot from you. I always wanted to do my best and be your person. But, I think I never really mattered to you.
This is an old post that I wanted to repost.
“I am not afraid to love you and am still madly in love with you to leave you. There will always be this one thing I never get used to: the idea of you being gone. When I think I reconciled, accepted, some way or other it just hits me all over again. Every day I live with the faintest of hope which may never come true. I hope that there will come a day when I can finally say “I did it, life was hard and I pulled myself through it.” That will be the day when I am the happiest soul alive.
The truth is I never planned to fall for you, it all happened way to fast. By then, I was already falling in love with you for the …

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